I love gardening and just about anything plant-related. I am especially fond of cacti. My grandkids call them "Nanna's pokies" and are always pointing out things in the store that have a cactus on it saying, "Hey, Nanna, you need that." Okay, so some might even call it a bit of an obsession with cacti. But what do they know, right? 😉
Anyway...
I have quite a collection of cacti, but sadly, as of yesterday, that number has been decreased by one. A cactus I got in Arizona 8 years ago, died. And yes, it made me sad. You see, when I brought it home, it was about 2 or 3 inches tall. When I removed it from its pot yesterday, it was just shy of being 3 feet tall.
So what happened? Well, about a month ago, I decided to rearrange it and the other large cactus it was potted with. For some reason, it was leaning, and nothing else I'd tried corrected the situation. But somehow in the process I injured the plant, and slowly from the inside out, it turned to mush, which is what cacti do when they die. It was a gradual process. It wasn't even noticeable until the last few days. Then yesterday, when I came home from the grocery store, it had collapsed.
Okay, now for the part where I tell you what this has to do with parenting your kids...
Sometimes you say or do things that hurt them without a) you knowing it and/or b) your kids telling you how they feel. They don't show it. They don't talk about it. Like a cactus that seems tough and indestructible with a strong (and prickly) defense system, they put on a good front.
But also just like the cactus, it eats away at them from the inside out. It slowly rips their self-esteem, their confidence, and their hopes and dreams out of their hearts and minds. Until they collapse--not always physically, of course, but they collapse just the same.
And now for the part where I tell you what you can (and should) be doing to prevent this from happening.
Be careful. Handle with care. Watch what you say. Watch what you do. Do unto others what you would have them do unto you. Don't assume they know what you mean or that you don't mean it the way it sounds. Apologize and ask their forgiveness when you do hurt them (because you will). Ask them how they feel and what they think...then really listen to what they say and respond accordingly. Don't expect too much or not enough. Let them know they are more than enough just because they're yours, because after all, that's what parenting is really all about.
Love,
Momma D
Copyright 2020 Darla Noble. No part of this can be used or copied without permission from the author.
Anyway...
I have quite a collection of cacti, but sadly, as of yesterday, that number has been decreased by one. A cactus I got in Arizona 8 years ago, died. And yes, it made me sad. You see, when I brought it home, it was about 2 or 3 inches tall. When I removed it from its pot yesterday, it was just shy of being 3 feet tall.
So what happened? Well, about a month ago, I decided to rearrange it and the other large cactus it was potted with. For some reason, it was leaning, and nothing else I'd tried corrected the situation. But somehow in the process I injured the plant, and slowly from the inside out, it turned to mush, which is what cacti do when they die. It was a gradual process. It wasn't even noticeable until the last few days. Then yesterday, when I came home from the grocery store, it had collapsed.
Okay, now for the part where I tell you what this has to do with parenting your kids...
Sometimes you say or do things that hurt them without a) you knowing it and/or b) your kids telling you how they feel. They don't show it. They don't talk about it. Like a cactus that seems tough and indestructible with a strong (and prickly) defense system, they put on a good front.
But also just like the cactus, it eats away at them from the inside out. It slowly rips their self-esteem, their confidence, and their hopes and dreams out of their hearts and minds. Until they collapse--not always physically, of course, but they collapse just the same.
And now for the part where I tell you what you can (and should) be doing to prevent this from happening.
Be careful. Handle with care. Watch what you say. Watch what you do. Do unto others what you would have them do unto you. Don't assume they know what you mean or that you don't mean it the way it sounds. Apologize and ask their forgiveness when you do hurt them (because you will). Ask them how they feel and what they think...then really listen to what they say and respond accordingly. Don't expect too much or not enough. Let them know they are more than enough just because they're yours, because after all, that's what parenting is really all about.
Love,
Momma D
Copyright 2020 Darla Noble. No part of this can be used or copied without permission from the author.
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