Back in the days of VCRs and the movie ‘tapes’ that went in
them, one of the kids (they know who I’m talking about) was infamous for ruining
them. No, it was more like a curse. No matter how she (yes, it was one of the
girls) put it into the VCR, it would jam up and we’d end up prying it out of
the machine and tossing it in the trash.
On one particular occasion, we managed to get the tape out of the VCR without it being crumpled and torn. There was just a little crease and the smallest of tears. “It’s only a little broke,” the kids said. “We can fast-forward through that part, so we don’t have to throw it away,” they said. All the while thinking, “like we did all the others”.
I wanted to say yes, because well, because it was frustrating—for everyone including her. So much so she wouldn’t even touch them. But I couldn’t say yes because saying yes wouldn’t have changed the fact that the movie was broken. Instead, I had to tell them that just a little broke is still broke…and get rid of the movie.
Now let’s fast-forward (no pun intended) a few years. I was in a room full of high school students. As I looked around, I couldn’t help but notice their total lack of compliance to the dress code I assumed was in place at the school. When I asked a teacher about it, she said this: “We have one, but we’re too busy dealing with behavior issues, we don’t have the time or energy to enforce the dress code and other things like that that don’t really matter.”
My response was this: “Have you considered that if you made the effort to enforce the dress code and all those other little things you say don’t matter, you wouldn’t have so many behavioral issues?”
“You’re probably right,” she agreed, then walked away.
How sad…and dangerous is that!
In effect, what this teacher was saying is that she and her coworkers were telling a high school full of impressionable teenagers that a little broke is okay—that a little broke isn’t anything to bother with. I strongly disagree and I hope you do, too.
As parents, when we tell our kids it’s okay to break the rules we don’t want to follow, and that if we don’t think a rule should apply to us, it’s okay to just ignore it, we rewriting Aretha’s song; changing the lyrics to D I S R E S P E C T…. And when that happens, well, we end up with teachers saying discipline problems make up the bulk of their day.
I’m not saying there is never a time or place to question some of the rules or to call for changes to those rules. Not at all! There’s a right way to bring change but breaking them isn’t it. And as a parent, it is your responsibility to teach your children this truth—not just by your words, but by your actions, as well. So, if we take the time and effort to teach our kids that there’s no such think as just a little broke when it comes to the rules at home, they’ll be far less likely to think it works that way in the world, aka school, sports, work, friendships.
Agree? Disagree? I’d love to hear what you think.
On one particular occasion, we managed to get the tape out of the VCR without it being crumpled and torn. There was just a little crease and the smallest of tears. “It’s only a little broke,” the kids said. “We can fast-forward through that part, so we don’t have to throw it away,” they said. All the while thinking, “like we did all the others”.
I wanted to say yes, because well, because it was frustrating—for everyone including her. So much so she wouldn’t even touch them. But I couldn’t say yes because saying yes wouldn’t have changed the fact that the movie was broken. Instead, I had to tell them that just a little broke is still broke…and get rid of the movie.
Now let’s fast-forward (no pun intended) a few years. I was in a room full of high school students. As I looked around, I couldn’t help but notice their total lack of compliance to the dress code I assumed was in place at the school. When I asked a teacher about it, she said this: “We have one, but we’re too busy dealing with behavior issues, we don’t have the time or energy to enforce the dress code and other things like that that don’t really matter.”
My response was this: “Have you considered that if you made the effort to enforce the dress code and all those other little things you say don’t matter, you wouldn’t have so many behavioral issues?”
“You’re probably right,” she agreed, then walked away.
How sad…and dangerous is that!
In effect, what this teacher was saying is that she and her coworkers were telling a high school full of impressionable teenagers that a little broke is okay—that a little broke isn’t anything to bother with. I strongly disagree and I hope you do, too.
As parents, when we tell our kids it’s okay to break the rules we don’t want to follow, and that if we don’t think a rule should apply to us, it’s okay to just ignore it, we rewriting Aretha’s song; changing the lyrics to D I S R E S P E C T…. And when that happens, well, we end up with teachers saying discipline problems make up the bulk of their day.
I’m not saying there is never a time or place to question some of the rules or to call for changes to those rules. Not at all! There’s a right way to bring change but breaking them isn’t it. And as a parent, it is your responsibility to teach your children this truth—not just by your words, but by your actions, as well. So, if we take the time and effort to teach our kids that there’s no such think as just a little broke when it comes to the rules at home, they’ll be far less likely to think it works that way in the world, aka school, sports, work, friendships.
Agree? Disagree? I’d love to hear what you think.
Love,
Momma D
Copyright 2020 Datrla Noble, No part of this can be used or copied without permission from the author.
