I originally wrote this post a few years ago, but in looking back over it, I realized there is more than one lesson we parents and grandparents can learn from Emma and Marge. So with that being said, I'm going to tell you this story again, but with a little different take-away than the first time around....
As parents we made sure the kids learned the importance of being kind and
honest and to respect themselves and others. Of course we did our best to teach these lessons by our example, but another way John and I did this was by
giving our children the gift of elderly people in their lives. We were always conscious of making sure our
children knew the older people in their lives—not just by looking at them from
across the room or grinning and bearing up under a few cheek-pinching sessions. No, we really encouraged them to view the older people we knew as their friends.
I'm proud and happy to say that it worked. Over the years I’ve been blessed to receive a number of compliments from others as well as
affirmations from our kids that we’d been successful in this
endeavor, but one particular incident is especially dear to my heart…
Emma was three years old and excited to finally be scribbling
her name on the back of her “Little Mermaid” valentine cards just like her
siblings were. On the Saturday before Valentine’s Day that year, they were
filling out cards to take to their friends at church the following day. Emma
was telling me who she wanted to make cards for and at the top of her list was
Marge. Marge was a sweet little lady in her eighties. She barely spoke
above a whisper and was really a bit on the shy side, but she loved Emma and
Emma wanted to make sure Marge knew the feeling was mutual by giving her the
brightest, most sparkling card in the box.
I can still see Emma running to Marge to hand her the card and the hugs and smiles that followed after Marge opened it. In spite of an eighty year span in their ages, these two were truly friends.
As parents, you are doing your kids a huge disservice by not intentionally helping them foster relationships with people different they them--especially people from different generations. And grandparents, you need to be taking the time to talk to, listen to, play with, share with, and invest yourself in your grandkids' lives. Why? Because when you encourage cross-generational relationships, your children are exposed to
the wisdom of those who’ve lived longer. They enjoy the fact that older people
often have time and patience parents don't have. Your children learn endurance, integrity, the value of commitment and responsibility from the older people in their lives. But the kids are the only ones who benefit. Children are seen as a
welcome breath of fresh air and energy by most older people. Older people enjoy sharing their stories and life-experience with young people. It is the affirmation they need that they have something of value to offer. That their experiences and endurance hasn't been for nothing.
Wow! Who would have thought a simple Valentine's Day card from a 3 year old little girl could do all that? But it did. And it can happen again and again, when two separate and very different generations are encouraged to walk the common ground called friendship.
Love,
Momma D
Copyright 2020 Darla Noble. No part of this can be used or copied without permission from the author.
