Spring break, summer, vacation, and Christmas break around our house
means toys all over the floor, craft projects galore, kid’s movie marathons,
multiple reminders to “brush your teeth”, adventurous outings, and Grandpa’s
‘gourmet’ cinnamon toast or yummy grilled chicken. In other words, the grandkids are on the scene.
Over the years there have been times when our adventures take us to the pet store to look at all the fish, ferrets, lizards,
hamsters, birds, snakes (with great personalities, the store clerk said), and
other small creatures wanting a new and forever home. And Mackenzie and Macy are always more
than willing to oblige. Over the years I've had the following conversation more than once. Okay--I've had it several times, but who's counting?
“Nanna will you buy me a fish?”
“No, honey, I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Because I won’t buy you a pet
without your mom and dad’s permission.”
“Call them.”
"We’ve talked about this before.
You’ve got plenty of pets—sheep, kittens, dogs, turtles...you don’t really have
time to take care of any more pets.”
“I’ll keep it at your house.”
“I already have fish so we’ll
just say they’re your fish, too.”
Now Macy jumps into the conversation
with, “Can your fish be mine, too?”
“Sure, why not. I'd love to share them with you.”
These conversations always remind me of a similar one Mackenzie and I had when she was about three—one in which
she tried to convince me to pierce her ears while she was watching me get ready
for the day. Again I said no because it wasn’t my decision to make. She tried to assure me her mom wouldn't care, but I knew otherwise. I wasn't born yesterday, you know.
Listen up, grandparents! Your job
is to love your grandchildren; playing with them, fixing their favorite foods,
reading books, answering millions of questions, letting the house stay messy
until they leave, holding little hands, keeping weed flowers (as the girls call
them) as a treasured memory, sharing lipstick, disciplining them when they are
in your care, and NOT usurping their parents’ authority or wishes.
Buying the girls a fish wouldn’t
have put a dent in the budget and I could have found several ways to ‘justify’
it (a nanna’s privilege, teaching them responsibility….). But none of those
things would have been justification for ignoring Zach and Becca’s wishes. They’ve
got plenty to do without having to worry about keeping a fish alive and a fish
bowl clean. Besides, I love and respect them too much to disregard their wishes
and ‘house rules’.
So remember, grandparents, your
job isn’t to make the rules for your grandkids. Your job is to respect your
children’s rules for their children and to model that respect for authority to
your grandchildren.
Love,
Momma D
Copyright 2016 Darla Noble. No part of this can be copied or used without permission from the author.
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