Thursday, September 26, 2013

Adoption is one continual bout of morning sickness

Would you like to know where I am going in a few hours? Good, because I'm going to tell you anyway. I am going to the airport with my husband to welcome home our daughter, son in-law and our new grandson!

You may be thinking-no big deal. Parents greet their children and grandchildren at the airport every single day. You're right, they do. But this is an extra-special day because Reuben's journey home has been a quite an ordeal.

Reuben was born in Taiwan to a young woman who had no desire to be saddled with a child. As a matter of fact, if she'd not been in jail when she learned she was pregnant, she would have aborted him. Abortions are common and readily-accepted in Taiwan, but the government won't pay for them; as would have been her case because she was incarcerated.

When the young woman's mother found out her daughter was pregnant, she told her she knew just exactly what they should do. She said they should contact the missionaries who had raised her from the time she was barley a year old until she was eighteen. "They will know just who to give this child to," she said. And so they did-contact the missionaries who had made the orphanage their life's ministry.

It just so happens I have known these same missionaries for many years, so when My daughter and son in-law decided to begin the process of adoption, I pointed them in that direction.

The elation of receiving the phone call that they had a son (just two weeks after his birth) was quickly buried under paper work, blood tests, lost paper work, trips to the embassy office in the states, more paper work, more lost paper work...finally a trip to Taiwan to meet their now-six month old son; only to have to leave him until more paperwork could be completed.

Then finally the call came that they could return to Taiwan to bring Reuben, who is now nine months old, home. So tonight he will really and truly finally be home.

As a mother it has been painful to watch my 'baby' go through so much to have her baby. It's not at all like pregnancy. Yes, it ironically took nine months, but those nine months were spent missing out on her son's life instead of physically making her son.

My point? My point is to remind you that too many people consider adoption easy or a quick-fix for having a baby. My daughter had several comments made to her about 'escaping morning sickness' or 'taking the easy way out and skipping the labor pain'. Wrong! Adoptive parents go through months and months of morning sickness and labor-sometimes even years!

So be mindful of adoptive parents and their feelings. Be compassionate and most of all, be sure to give them all the love, attention and special treatment parents of newborns receive.

Momma D